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Joke of the Day

"How do you circumcise a Hill-Billy? You kick his sister in the jaw."

"My first dad joke So, early this morning my wife got up and questioned me after I got up early with our son and fed him. Her: Did you get our son sick? Me: Nope, I got him cereal."

"Burglars broke into Kanye West's home. As a result, 500 statues of Kanye West are missing."

"The Model Her Garb was just pure Garbage, and she had a silly old Bag: she drank so much that we all went Dutch.-and of course she lost her Rag."

"What's the difference between Gabe Newell and a toddler? A toddler can count past two..."

"Cleanliness is next to godliness in a dictionary missing some stuff."

"When you're fast enough to be at two spots at the same time. *Fat"

"I tripped in front of Stephen Hawking. He lol'd."

"I often wonder how different it would be if I were to go back to grade school Not so much with the knowledge I have now, but with the penis I have now"

"Place a STUDENT DRIVER sign on top of your car, and suddenly nobody suspects you of drunk driving."