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Joke of the Day
"*shakes the ATM like it's a vending machine*"
Next Joke
"You're having a big wedding? Cool. I'm having a Big Mac"
"As an environmentalist, I've been trying to teach my teen boys to be environmentally friendly. We're starting with deodorant"
"My programmer friend keeps telling me I'm using too many brackets. I keep telling him that two wont hold all those books he never reads."
"A solid way to make your waiter's head explode is to order a grilled cheese with no bread."
"What do you call a Mexican woman who has no legs? Cunts way low"
"What's another term for anal bleaching? Changing your ringtone"
"An Apple store got robbed last night and $250,000 worth of equipment was stolen. Police are confident they can recover both the stolen machines."
"I've been practicing pickup lines for depressed men... Hey baby, can you get your pants lower than my self-esteem?"
"I own a gun so if a robber breaks into my home and steals my stuff I can shoot all my stuff and break it so the robber can't enjoy any of it"