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Joke of the Day

"As an environmentalist, I've been trying to teach my teen boys to be environmentally friendly. We're starting with deodorant"

"What do you call a frozen swine lavatory? A pigloo I'll see myself out."

"A little african girl... asks her daddy: ""Daddy can I play with your dick?"" ""- Yes but don't go too far"""

"The moderator needs a spray bottle. Each time someone interrupts, they could just be like: ""NO! BAD PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE! BAD!! *spray*"

"Bill Cosby awarded another honorary degree from Boston University, this time is was Anesthesiology."

"I have to work new years eve. But I'm not upset, after work I have the rest of the year off."

"*walks up to cute teller at bank* Me: you wanna grab lunch some time? T: sir, I've seen your balance. M: yea, I was hoping you'd buy."

"Did you mean pacific or specific? Cuz seriously, one is an ocean."

"Two condoms..... Two condoms pass a gay bar. One says to the other, ""Let's go in and get shit-faced."""

"Doctor doctor people tell me I'm a wheelbarrow. Don't let people push you around."