208698

Joke of the Day

"I own a gun so if a robber breaks into my home and steals my stuff I can shoot all my stuff and break it so the robber can't enjoy any of it"

"[Sick Humour] What sits in the corner of the room, crying and getting smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a vegetable peeler."

"Why was the plumber sad? He had a shitty job."

"What appears over black man's head when he has an idea? A fried Chicken leg"

"What is the difference between reindeer and caribou? Reindeer are the ones that fly."

"Manager: Your fired Me: *You're Manager: How did you know I spelled it wrong if I spoke it out loud Me: How did you know I corrected you"

"The thing with people who are bad at counting calories.. ..is that they have the figures to prove it"

"Whats a similarity between dogs and teenagers The girls are all bitches"

"I'm sleeping in this morning. Bladder: MUHAHAHAHA!!"

"What do you call a man with a kilt over his head ? Scott !"