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Joke of the Day

"Heard a good joke from a patient today. (Xpost from /r/nursing) Two inmates standing around. One lets out a loud fart and the other says, ""Hey, that sounds about my size."" Had to share..."

"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Stab in and thrust up."

"Stretching and yawning at the same time might not look so sexy but it looks like you're a Pokemon evolving so that's cool."

"What do you call a fake shit? A sham poo"

"I faked a cough to get out of work. I tell myself I wasn't lying... I was just being SARScastic."

"DATE: [whispering in my ear] i've got a secret ME: [also whispering] is it tacos DATE: [giggles] no ME: can it be tacos"

"Entered into a hot potato competition today. It really got outta hand."

"What they're actually saying is ""I can't even [finish this sentence due to the complexities of being a white girl on the existential level]"""

"I have this fun drinking game where you take a drink every time you'd like one because you're an adult and you can make decisions yourself."

"Bad sign. My fortune cookie just said, ""Abdominal cramps""."