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Joke of the Day
"I faked a cough to get out of work. I tell myself I wasn't lying... I was just being SARScastic."
Next Joke
"I told my son I'm a motherfucker...... He was like. ""You fuck mothers...... lesbo."" I replied. "" Ain't a lesbo if it's myself."""
"My boss told me ""Dress for the job you want, not the job you have"" Am now sat in a disciplinary meeting wearing my Batman costume"
"How many redditors does it take to change a lightbulb? Doesn't matter. They will just keep reposting the same lightbulb."
"How do you say, Richard and Robert raped the rabbit, with no R's Dick and Bob fucked a bunny."
"Perfect one night stand: Amish person. No internet access. No phones. In the heat of passion they'll whisper the secret to apple butter."
"I bet Elmo wonders about how they might stop funding PBS. And sometimes why."
"*picks up the bagel again* sorry i gotta take this one *leaves office & talks on the bagel for 15 minutes solid*"
"What kind of shoe does Mr. T wear? T-shoes!"
"The shittiest joke I know. A: My book is coming out soon! B: Really?Cool, congratulations. A: Thanks. I probably shouldn't have eaten it in the first place, though."