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Joke of the Day

"Broke up with my girlfriend today It's cool though, she said we can still be cousins."

"I have a joke for you. /r/Jokes"

"Haven't worn a watch in 20+ years. Coincidentally, I haven't poured my drink on the floor when asked for the time in 20+ years."

"Fortune Teller The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large!"

"Why did Jared vote for gore in the 2000 election? Jared doesn't care for bush"

"If Jesus could walk on water and cucumbers are 96% water and I can walk on cucumbers does that mean the other 4% accounts for Jesus's dick?"

"What's 12 inches long and white? Nothing."

"Help 9-1-1! I just found my husband! He's been drugged in his coffee and then stabbed with a pen knife but that didn't work and then shot!"

"Did you take a shower today? Why, is one missing?"

"What do you call a black person with a PHD? A Doctor you racist!"