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Joke of the Day
"friend: ""we should have a drink sometime"" *never contacts them again*"
Next Joke
"Helen keller sets down a cheese grader and says... That was the most violent book i've ever read"
"There are 10 types of people in the world Ones who understand binary And the ones who don't."
"Why did the English teacher hire a midget geography nut as his lawyer? He wanted someone who understood *capitals* and *lower* case."
"Aliens watching our media must assume we are being implored to show allegiance to our ruler, a mysterious entity named ""Geico."""
"Me: I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse. Him: Ma'am, for the last time, we don't have a limit on how much liquor you can buy."
"I don't go to the circus. Not because I'm scared of clowns, but because I'm scared of people who go to the circus."
"Yo mama is so fat...that she broke a branch in her family tree!"
"Her: ""How is it possible for anyone to be an idiot all the freakin time!"" Me: ""I know, I'm completely exhausted."""
"A Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 100 feet, but I can only walk so fast."