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Joke of the Day

"Aliens watching our media must assume we are being implored to show allegiance to our ruler, a mysterious entity named ""Geico."""

"The True Secret of Ignorance... ...you're looking in the wrong place."

"what's pink and hard?... Micheal Jackson...still."

"Took the shell off my racing snail to see if I could make it go faster... Just made it a bit sluggish."

"What is hard, long, and full of seamen? A submarine"

"I have one trophy on reddit. Dust"

"I was raised by my father. He was a competitive poker player."

"No matter how many Madea movies they make, I believe that Tyler Perry just likes to wear ladies clothes. PERIOD!"

"Now my friends all hate me because I've been keeping my enemies closer."

"Losing your spouse can be hard. But it's not impossible."