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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell when an Italian car has a flat tire? Dago wop wop wop"

"I'd like to put a big red bow on the coffin of the guy who came up with those Lexus ads."

"H2O is water. H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4? Drinking and bathing."

"I have a habit of standing naked in the laundry room wondering what to wear. This may have contributed to my immense popularity in college."

"COP: The killer wrote a message on the victim's mirror ME: You can't prove it was me COP: It was written in Dorito dust ME: I want a lawyer"

"""I'd hit that if I was drunk."" - Me, driving by a mailbox just now."

"I take issue with people stealing magazines."

"Back in my day we used to only have chalkboards. The new whiteboards they use are Remarkable"

"So are we all just going to pretend that we didn't spend 2001 yelling, ""Whassup?"" at each other?"

"I had doubts about buying a big metal cabinet with a locking door for my guns It turned out to be a safe purchase."