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Joke of the Day
"H2O is water. H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4? Drinking and bathing."
Next Joke
"I don't care if you stop reading after 80 characters. I'm using all 140, even if what I say makes no sense at all. Oh also, your mom's a who"
"Many people are surprised to hear I'm married because I scream it at them as I descend from their broken skylight in the dead of night."
"Ever heard the joke about the airplane? Never mind, it just flew over your head."
"What's the difference between a bad haircut and a good haircut? About two weeks."
"How do you pick up a girl from Auschwitz..... With a broom and a dustpan."
"What part of the computer the astronaut likes the most? A space bar."
"Isn't Twitter basically all NSFW since we all tweet while we're at work & hit the 'Close Tab' button like a ninja when the boss walks by?"
"Got in our old Mark 1 Golf today... ... My dad grabs shifts into reverse and says....""Aah, this takes me back"""
"What did the Mexican detective say in England? I'm like Sherlock, holmes."