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Joke of the Day

"Pavlov's doorbell One tuesday afternoon Ivan Pavlov is reading the paper, when his neighbour rings the doorbell. Ivan jumps up out of his chair, suddenly remembering: ""Shit, I need to feed the dogs!"""

"I bet the guy that was looking forward to his next life and came back reincarnated as me is really disappointed."

"My wife and I were discussing people owning weird animals... and she said, ""I've always wanted to get a manatee."" I said, ""That's very kind of you. I will take it with two sugars."""

"Anal is like your first car You don't really want it, but your step dad gives it to you anyway"

"So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back... Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient."

"The best time to propose at a restaurant is right after you order but before you pull up to the window."

"I've just spoke with a woman who said she met me at a vegetarian club last week I could have sworn I've never met herbivore"

"I was going to make one of those Bitstrips cartoons, but then I decided to pick the lint out of my belly button instead. I'm pretty sure I came out ahead"

"What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I need friends."

"What do you call an 80s band comrpising of only fruit? Durian durian! im sorry"