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Joke of the Day

"So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back... Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient."

"I don't see why everyone resents the Headless Horseman... All he wanted was head."

"Hey girl are you a cool autumn breeze Because you make me wanna jacket"

"Thought I heard reggae music coming from the office... ...but it was just the printer jammin'"

"Fun prank. Tell your bf you're getting your hair done. Leave. Don't get your hair done. When you come back & he says it looks great stab him"

"My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him!"

"[Lawyer] ""I can't stress this enough. You cannot plead that you're a wizard ok?"" ""ok"" [Later in court] ""I plead that im a wizard your honor"""

"Woman's pant pockets are like their rights. There, but only for show."

"what do you call a cow that's recently given birth? Decaffinated"

"Q: What do flies wear on their feet? A: Shoos."