202815

Joke of the Day

"Anal is like your first car You don't really want it, but your step dad gives it to you anyway"

"A man once called a pier the ugliest eyesore he'd ever seen, but was then never seen again. I guess you could say he diss-a-pier-ed."

"I got 99 issues... And they are all collectable national geographics."

"In my defense, they should have been more specific about which part of the restaurant I was supposed to ""Drive Thru"""

"*waits for a sign* *dead bird falls from sky* *waits for another, better sign*"

"having sex for pleasure Apart from humans, the only creature that has sex for pleasure is the dolphin. I had to shag a lot of animals to find that out."

"I feel sorry for men who don't know how to value women. One look at a woman and I KNOW how much she will cost me."

"The best thing about being productive is going to bed knowing you did something. Or I think that's how productive people feel. I don't know."

"A boiled egg in the morning... is hard to beat."

"*arrives in hell* *Hey Ya starts playing* haha nice love this song *song ends* ... *Hey Ya starts playing* wait no"