230489

Joke of the Day

"My wife and I were discussing people owning weird animals... and she said, ""I've always wanted to get a manatee."" I said, ""That's very kind of you. I will take it with two sugars."""

Next Joke
 
"What do you call a bear with no teeth? *A gummy bear.*"
"Dentist to parsimonious patient ""No we give no discount for empty spaces when cleaning and polishing teeth Mrs. Borde!"""
"What do you call a German barber? Herr Kutz (This was funnier when I was half asleep this morning)"
"I have sex daily. I mean, dyslexia! Fcuk"
"I bet Michael J. Fox makes one hell of a martini."
"My Wife wears some very revealing shirts. Today's shirt says 'Nick's ATM code is 1234' on it."
"What word that begins with ""N"" and ends with ""R"" do you never want to call a black person? Neighbor"
"[waving hands and chasing down ice cream truck] Hey! ""What'll it be?"" [out of breath] Nothing. Just wanted to tell you I'm vegan"
"It's impossible not to look creepy whispering to a child"