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Joke of the Day

"The best time to propose at a restaurant is right after you order but before you pull up to the window."

"Why did the butcher sell his shop? Because he couldn't meat his expenses"

"My 22-year-old cousin: My biggest fear in life is that I won't make a difference, that I'll be insignificant. Me: It's really not that bad"

"I do whatever I can to fight poverty So the other day, I punched a tramp (Courtesy of Milton Jones)"

"[hitting on hot babe in bar] "".. You're 28? NO WAY! I used to be 28! This is spooky. You like oxygen? OMG you're not gonna believe this.."""

"I like to do my laundry naked so that all my clothes are clean. Unfortunately, the patrons at the laundromat don't seem to agree."

"why do we only eat some of the animals I'm looking at you manatees keep being fat your day will come"

"I hit some kid riding a skateboard today, on the way to work. On a lighter note, I'm selling a lightly used skateboard."

"Why do people knock on a locked public restroom door? And what is the person inside to say? ""who is it?"""

"What is Hillary Clintons favorite type of footwear? flip-flops"