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Joke of the Day

"While in bed, my girlfriend said, ""OMG it's so large!"" Problem is, I'm a serious arachnophobe, and it was right next to me."

"Neighbor may have just called the cops after hearing me yell at the cat for stealing my cheese bread"

"Why wasn't Jesus born in the USA? Because God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."

"Why can't you find pirates in Kansas? They all live in Arkansas"

"Is it normal for your right testicle to be larger than your other two?"

"What do communist leaders call protesters? Red paint."

"What did one wall say to the other? Meet me in the corner!"

"A woman who has no idea how hot she is, is so hot."

"Me: I'm not saying I hate your voice, but when you start talking, I understand the way dogs feel about fireworks. *howls* Co-worker:"

"What did the gamer say when he assassinated the Pope? 360 NO POPE!!!!"