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Joke of the Day

"A woman who has no idea how hot she is, is so hot."

"Did you hear about the guy who ate glass? It was pretty clear how he died."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never paid $20 to have a garbanzo bean on my chest."

"My grandad is a real inspiration to get healthy, he starting running a mile a day when he was 65.... Now he is 70, we have no idea where he is"

"An interrogator that just goes into the room and loudly eats a peach until the suspect confesses to everything."

"CONSERVE ENERGY: How would you feel if someone turned you on and then left?"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? No one's ever paid to have a lentil on their face."

"If I go to your place for the first time, unless you live in a castle, please don't ask me if I want a tour."

"How many Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Don't know, the pope hasn't said yet. How many Lutherans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, Lutherans don't change."

"To my fellow graduates; don't you forget about me Just something to instil into your simple minds. I am *not* proud of this."