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Joke of the Day

"""Your son's been involved in a shenanigan"" What kinda shenanigans? ""It was just one shenanigan"" You called me down here for one shenanigan?"

"What do you call a slutty telescope? A horoscope."

"Why can't you see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it"

"How many monastic women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None... they live an ascetic lifestyle and prefer to not use electricity."

"What do French people call a bad Thursday? A trajeudi. I'll escort myself out now....."

"Twitter is a good place to meet men. The odds are good but the goods are odd."

"I sleep less, I'm tired. I sleep more, I'm tired. Life is impossible."

"I can row a boat. Canoe?"

"In MILF porn... There's always one motherfucker"

"Break into your neighbor's house every night but don't take anything just put a cape on their dog"