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Joke of the Day
"Break into your neighbor's house every night but don't take anything just put a cape on their dog"
Next Joke
"*in a fight with Humpty Dumpty* ""You don't scare me, I eat eggs like you for breakfast"""
"Do you like Christmas? Then why don't you merry it?"
"Why do a lot of math nerds wear glasses? It helps with division."
"Why does Oregon Ducks need such big suitcases? Because they Pac-12 of everything"
"The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse."
"I am sorry I wasn't being completely honest when I said I was normal."
"Do you or anyone you know regularly kill it on the web with net posts? You may be entitled to a false sense of self worth"
"Look, I know you really miss her. But, you know what? Sometimes things aren't meant to be. One time I really wanted this waffle...."
"People with a good sense of humor have a better sense of life."