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Joke of the Day

"IMAGINE if twitter, facebook, and msn all broke at the same time. we might have to actually get lives."

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"My hair looks amazing today. I hope I see everybody I hate."
"Why do old men need Viagra? Because they are screwing old women!"
"When the cat sits on my head, my shadow looks like Batman."
"How do you make a hormone? Slap her in the face and refuse to pay her."
"I bought my friend an elephant for their room. They said ""thanks!"" I said ""don't mention it."""
"[interview for doctor's office receptionist] ""Can you schedule appointments and be friendly"" Yes. ""Sorry we're looking for the opposite"""
"What does a philosopher put his/her food on? A contemplate"
"Why do some blondes have bruised belly buttons? Because there are blond guys too."
"A fanny pack is a great place to store your manhood."
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