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Joke of the Day

"I have this horrible tofu joke I'm afraid to post... It's really tasteless."

"What do girls and parking spaces have in common? All the good ones are taken and the rest are disabled"

"I accidenty said Hi to a feminist the other day... My court case starts tomorrow"

"I'm smarter than I look. I was gonna say -more intelligenter- but wasn't sure how to spell it so..."

"Morning workout: Turn on treadmill. Untangle headphones for 14 minutes. Get frustrated, leave and eat doughnuts."

"I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, ""No, the steaks are too high."""

"Do you ever have the urge to eat something right in front of you? Anyways, that's how I lost my job as a gynaecologist..."

"When the checkout person tries to put your toilet paper in a bag, tell them it's 'for here', not 'to go'. Then ask them to hurry."

"I asked my wife if it was still necessary to get her a card for valentines day even after 5 years of marriage. She said yes and the only card she wanted was VISA."

"What can Santa give away and still keep? A cold."