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Joke of the Day
"How do you convince your neighbor to share their water with you? Try to get a long well."
Next Joke
"I'd get into a lesbian relationship just to mooch my girlfriend's hair care products."
"Don't you hate when the whole movie theater's empty, but someone sits right next to you? I know you do, that's why I do it."
"I'm going to start making my own baby food... What's the best cut of baby?"
"This Christmas... This Christmas, Donald Trump's hair becomes sentient and nukes canada. Only one Democratic Socialist can prevent a total World War. Bernie Sanders stars... in HELL TOUPEE"
"A one liner for the holiday, say no to drugs... Everybody says that you should say no to drugs, but I'm thinking that if you're talking to drugs, it's too late"
"When I was a kid, I was told ""If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."" For the first seven years of my life everyone thought I was a deaf-mute."
"I hate two types of people... haters and hypocrites."
"The spokesperson for the National organisation against impotence got up to the podium... ...And proclaimed ""This will not stand!"""
"Someone stole my mood ring I don't know how I feel about that"