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Joke of the Day

"Don't you hate when the whole movie theater's empty, but someone sits right next to you? I know you do, that's why I do it."

"I won the drowning competition. Wanna know my secret? Well, don't hold your breath!"

"Why did the bigamist cross the road? To get to the other bride."

"Why did Michael Sam, the first openly gay NFL player, say he doesn't shop at Sports Authority? Because he prefers Dick's."

"Torrential rainfall? Rising floodwaters?! No escape?!! Don't worry... I Noah guy."

"unrelated but I believe strongly that Woody Woodpecker is a lesbian"

"What's the difference between a Russian Potato and a U.S. Potato? The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics."

"How do you tell if a black woman is pregnant? All the cotton has been picked from her tampon."

"Imgur Servers"

"A young couple are in the middle of an argument... Man: ""Yeah well, your hemorrhoids are disgusting!"" Woman: ""At least they stay out of my asshole!"""