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Joke of the Day
"I hate two types of people... haters and hypocrites."
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"Why should all teenagers get a case for their cell phones? Because they should use protection to practice safe text"
"I'm hosting a charity concert for people who struggle to reach orgasm, if you can't come, let me know."
"What do you call a short psychic who hasn't yet been apprehended? A small medium at-large?"
"My thai-girlfriend told me it's ok to have a small penis I would still prefer that she had a vagina. EDIT: Grammar thx to /u/Jarabar"
"Why do SJWs like cancer? Because it doesn't discriminate."
"Unemployment rate went down to historic lows I think I might switch my major to art -No one ever"
"Brad Pitt and I had a handsome contest and the loser had to adopt a bunch of kids."
"I'm depressive and suicidal, though I have great news! I have terminal cancer! :D"
"Cute cat ""Thanks. We dont let him in though cause he shreds"" You mean sheds? ""No"" [gestures to cat shredding to Van Halen on the back patio]"