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Joke of the Day
"I'd get into a lesbian relationship just to mooch my girlfriend's hair care products."
Next Joke
"All a woman wants is a strong, confident, capable man who will wear whichever shirt she tells him to."
"""I was on Vine before it was cool."" - Tarzan"
"TIFU by eating my roommates lunch Oops, wrong sub"
"Me: Baby-proofed the house like you wanted Wife: Ya? Me: Ya. Locks, fence, barbed wire, the works Her:.. Me: No way a baby's gettin in here."
"David Cameron that there is a joke all on its own"
"What do you do when a timeline dies? Barry it."
"Saw a girl with 12 nipples today. Sounds crazy, dozen tit?"
"Whats the difference between me and a calendar? A calendar has dates."
"""Creation science"" has the same intellectual heft as ""dragon anatomy""."