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Joke of the Day

"I saw a slim white guy in a dark alley that was so shady but funny... ..so funny and shady in fact, that if you saw him in a room full of ready to laugh people sitting down, he'd stand up."

"[tsunami approaches] Me: At last I will feel oblivion's sweet embrace. Tsunami (inexplicably reversing): I have a boyfriend."

"Watching my kids play the Xbox Kinect and it's taking me back to when I was a kid and we had this great game called playing outside."

"A Japanese man meets a midwestern man The Japanese man says, ""Good morning! Where are you from?"" The midwestern man replies, ""Ohio, Ohio"""

"She buys me a lot of shitty music these days. ""Reminds me of your old stuff,"" she says. So maybe I get her a gift subscription to Playboy."

"How do you get a homosexual man to have sex with a woman? Shit in her cunt"

"When I was 13 my dad gave me a bunch of socks n said ""I heard u grunting in ur room last night, do it into these"" So now I poop into socks"

"Two priests decided to open a Fish and Chip shop... ... One was a Fish Friar, the other was a Chip Monk."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the cutest of them all? the mirror laughed & made a grunt & said ""not you, you ugly c*nt."

"If I fave ur tweet on a Friday night pls know I'm doing it from the party club, where I am partyclubbing with my [opens dictionary] friends"