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Joke of the Day

"I saw a slim white guy in a dark alley that was so shady but funny... ..so funny and shady in fact, that if you saw him in a room full of ready to laugh people sitting down, he'd stand up."

"January 29, 1802, 2 AM: I hope this letter finds you well. Are you up? March 2: I am, good sir April 6: Would you kindly come over? May 9: K"

"My friend has a habit of dropping things. It's getting out of hand."

"In my 20s, I was bullied by a crow the size of a chicken for several months."

"My school always awarded dictionaries to the spelling bee winners. Which was weird because it should actually be awarded to the losers."

"4/20. Always forget."

"Black jokes and Mexican jokes are all the same... Once you've seen Juan you've seen Jamal."

"I like to think that the lead singer of Limp Bizkit sorts out his own affairs before seeing to other peoples... Durst's things First"

"me: time to apologize. did you eat the receipt? 8: yup me: ok cause if mom finds out we bought these flowers at the grocery store we're dead"

"It'll be a cold day in hell. Cloudy in purgatory, with a slight chance of rain. And clear skies up in heaven. Now over to Jim with sports."