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Joke of the Day

"[tsunami approaches] Me: At last I will feel oblivion's sweet embrace. Tsunami (inexplicably reversing): I have a boyfriend."

"As a matter of fact, I _AM_ trying to cause a big sensation... Just talkin' 'bout double p-penetration"

"The shortest joke in the world 'Dwarf Shortages'"

"Women say it's unfair that men get more attractive as we get older. It's usually because we hit bottom really hard and bounce back up."

"The waiter at the Mexican restaurant called me ""Amigo"". Am I in a gang now?"

"I got a dog for my wife. It was a good trade."

"Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She caused frequent blue-screens and IRQ time-out errors."

"In a room full of idiots screaming their opinions at the top of their lungs, be the guy in the corner doing finger guns with his reflection."

"I missed the lunar eclipse, but I've seen shadows before, so I get how awestruck everyone was."

"How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? You strangle it until it turns blue, and then shoot it with the blue elephant gun."