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Joke of the Day

"Dear Milk of Magnesia manufacturers: Please add : 'Don't trust a fart' to your side effects label. kthanksbye"

"Why do primates do so well in show biz? Put any Ape in the spotlight - and monkeyshines!"

"My 13 yo niece is ""experimenting with alcohol"" according to my dad. Like she's keeping a ledger of her findings. ""12/21/09: Scotch. Woo!"""

"Co-worker felt bad about throwing away a donation request from the Alzheimer's Association. I told him not to worry, they won't remember who they sent those to anyway."

"Hi, I'm here to see the doctor. -me Witch doctor? -reception Nooo...I think he's Jewish. -me [blank stare] Please sit down."

"Jesus, take the wheel Carlos, take the stereo"

"You've got two brain cells: one is in a wheelchair and the other one is pushing."

"Lying through your teeth doesn't count as flossing"

"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing, they were both stuck-up bitches"

"Why does an Ethiopian baby cry? He's having a midlife crisis."