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Joke of the Day

"Hi, I'm here to see the doctor. -me Witch doctor? -reception Nooo...I think he's Jewish. -me [blank stare] Please sit down."

"What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito? You can't. A mosquito is a vector and the mountain climber is a scaler. Courtesy of my physics professor."

"I live by 2 simple rules: 1. Don't treat people like shit. 2. If any melted cheese gets on your paper plate, you must also eat the plate."

"Islamic state claimed responsibility for american presidential elections."

"If a man masseur refuses to give a massage to a woman Is he a misogynist?"

"Where did the coffee bean find his soul mate? Grinder (Thanks, Ellen)"

"What does Putin say during his new years speech? Don't know but its so scary that they drink for ten days straight right after!"

"I like my women like I like my coffee... ...bought for far less money than it would have cost to buy it locally."

"First ""gay"" now ""glee."" Are you guys going to take every synonym for ""happy"" or leave us one or two Christmas carols kids don't giggle at?"

"Two soldiers are in a tank... ...one turns to the other and says, ""blubblublbublub""."