118366

Joke of the Day

"My 13 yo niece is ""experimenting with alcohol"" according to my dad. Like she's keeping a ledger of her findings. ""12/21/09: Scotch. Woo!"""

"I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus. Then I saw her arguing with him about money. Now I see Santa drinking by himself."

"What's a roosters favorite sport? Professional Cock Soccer."

"Scientists have discovered the number one food that kills a woman's sex drive Wedding cake"

"Dude I'm Colin Kapernick and I'm black. Dude you're not even brown. You look like Matthew Perry. -Harold and Kumar"

"What part of your computer is most likely to molest your child? The PDF file. What part of your computer is most likely to molest your child? The PDF file."

"How can you tell if a fat chick is pregnant? You can't."

"I was told that at birth I had a choice between perfect memory or a big penis. ""I fucking remember"" i replied"

"The problem with some people is that they're alive."

"If women are people, why are they so stupid? Seriously. Even the smartest and most accomplished women are dumber than the most retarded head lice."