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Joke of the Day

"Jesus, take the wheel Carlos, take the stereo"

"Who does Batman call when he needs to cool down his expensive drinks? The Just-Ice League."

"My GPS thinks we should see other drivers."

"HOW DO I CONVINCE EVERYONE THAT I'M NOT UPSET SOMEONE STOLE MY CAPS LOCK KEY?"

"I overheard some women saying that guys who drive expensive cars have small penises Me: M'am, that's very inaccurate, because I drive a very INEXPENSIVE car, and I also have a small penis."

"If you don't believe in evolution how do you explain such striking similarities between the doughnut and the bagel?"

"The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese."

"Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets and we turned out fine. And you know what else? Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets and we turned out fine."

"- Are you even listening to me? - Of course I am - Ok, what did I just ask you? - If I'm listening to you"

"Told my girlfriend that there was a party in my pants and that she was invited. She asked if it was a search party :("