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Joke of the Day

"Lying through your teeth doesn't count as flossing"

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"My parents were in the iron and steel industry... My mother had to iron and my father had to steal."
"What do they sing at a snowman's birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow"
"So it is my anniversary I couldn't think of what to get her... But I finally settled on a plunger, because bitches love bringing up old shit"
"I'd get lost less frequently if GPS would say ""no, your other left."""
"My friend started a business in Afghanistan selling land mines that look like prayer rugs.. He says prophets are going through the roof."
"What do 9 out of 10 people love? Gang rape"
"What do you call it when flu season comes early? Premature inoculation."
"Last night, I had dinner at one of those illicit restaurants where you can dine on endangered species. I left there full of egret."
"I always get confused between bi and semi Which one means you like to fuck 18 wheelers?"