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Joke of the Day

"ME: What's this bit here? NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things"

"What kind of Bees make milk? Boobies."

"It's okay if ""buoyancy"" makes you happy -- whatever floats your boat."

"You say to-MAY-to and I also say to-MAY-to because nobody says to-MAH-to. Nobody."

"I just dropped my BlackBerry! This must be similar to how mother's feel when they drop their infants."

"Picture me and my boyfriend on a dinner date Wrong We're sitting on the same side of the table making you uncomfortable"

"""I have 29 seconds left to live... Please let me just hear our song before I die"" Anything you want! *googles song* *30 second ad plays* NOO"

"What does a blonde do first thing in the morning? She goes home"

"Does this comic book collection make me look single?"

"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices - take it or leave it."