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Joke of the Day

"Do her by the ocean. Beaches love crabs."

"Realizing his terrible mistake, Judas bitterly hurled his half-eaten Klondike bar into the sea."

"I wonder if Southern Belles say ""I do declare"" a lot when they're doing their taxes."

"Just took a short nap, although I wouldn't exactly call it a cat nap since I didn't lay on anyone's clothes or laptop like a total asshole."

"If Jesus could walk on water and cucumbers are 96% water and I can walk on cucumbers does that mean the other 4% accounts for Jesus's dick?"

"My sex life and gaming life are pretty similar. I play a lot of single player."

"A midget Mexican is called a paragraph. Because he aint no full essay ;)"

"The most massive object of our entire supercluster Hey, you're like the Great Attractor Thanks man No I mean like you're the heaviest thing in the known universe"

"Whats the difference between a fetus and a meme? You cant kill a Meme"

"After all that shit, I can't believe they are finally back together. My ass cheeks"