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Joke of the Day
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices - take it or leave it."
Next Joke
"*swallows pride* *reads the label* 'this pride may contain nuts* oh no *swells with pride*"
"If you think your job tires you... ...try working for Goodyear"
"I have invented a new game. You lock yourself and 9 other friends in a house that has 2 bathrooms. You all then take a load of laxative and fight over the toilets. I call it 'Game Of Thrones'"
"Guys at work are always like ""why are your shorts so short?"" Then I spin kick an inch away from their face with such precision and they know"
"I really hope my 2 year old daughter is this difficult to get into bed when she's 18"
"I just saw a squirrel pooping. That shit was nuts."
"A blowjob makes your day, but anal makes your hole weak."
"What do you feed a feminist at a cookout? Trick question. Nobody invites feminists to a cookout."
"A Haiku For My Salad: I do not like you You will never be grilled cheese You make my mouth sad"