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Joke of the Day

"What do they call mosquitoes in Pakistan? Churchitoes"

"The ex hasn't moved out yet. To make her uncomfortable I left a new box of condoms out on the table. She retaliated with a pregnancy kit."

"If they just built prisons out of the shit they package electronics in, no one would ever escape."

"Did you know Kurt Cobain had dandruff? They found his Head & Shoulders behind the couch."

"A new prisoner meets Elsa in his new cell... A new prisoner meets Elsa in a cell in the prison. He asks her: ""Why are you here?"" And Elsa answers: ""Because they don't let me go."""

"I know this guy who watches Fist of the North Star........ AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA! BUMBADUMBAAAAAAA (I'm really sorry)"

"How did the farmer grow his portfolio? Cornstock"

"Clerk: Why do you need 200 condoms? Me: I have a beard and an accent. *winks* *Spends night making balloon animals"

"I almost got hit by a car today, but due to a swift maneuver I was able to not get hit. It was a Dodge."

"Perks of being a child of divorce Being able to operate Direct TV and Dish"