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Joke of the Day

"A new prisoner meets Elsa in his new cell... A new prisoner meets Elsa in a cell in the prison. He asks her: ""Why are you here?"" And Elsa answers: ""Because they don't let me go."""

"Hi, I'm hosting a party with dinner & drinks on Friday 14th Feb for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can't cum let me know."

"Warning, Condoms aren't totally safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and he got hit by a bus."

"Did a somersault for the first time in years. I know that's not a good tweet but I'm getting bored lying here waiting for the paramedics."

"Dyslexia A dyslexic man walks into a bra. ??"

"From my 5 year old: Knock knock! Who's there? Orange! Orange Who? Orange you glad I love you? All my awws."

"Why isn't there gambling in Africa? Too many cheetahs."

"If you cut down a hundred trees, you are not a lumberjack. But if you suck one dick, you are a cocksucker."

"""My favorite sex fantasy starts with you bringing me wine..."" And then? ""Cheese."" Mmmm and then? ""You close the door from outside."""

"I've always had an over-active imagination. Like that time I found myself drowning in an ocean of Tango it took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea."