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Joke of the Day
"Perks of being a child of divorce Being able to operate Direct TV and Dish"
Next Joke
"How can you tell if your girlfriend is getting fat? She fits into your wife's clothes"
"Shortest joke ever? ""Pretentious? Moi?"""
"What do you call a blonde, who dyed her hair black? Artificial intelligence"
"You know my grandfather died in a Nazi prison camp? He died falling off a watch tower"
"My astronomy professor told me I was his star pupil."
"How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? How the hell did they get inside a light bulb?"
"[taking my final breaths after a freak accident] Tell my family I totes love them *gasping for air* but like, roll your eyes real hard"
"I'm gonna start my own TV network called RealityTV(RTV) and play nothing but music videos"
"I got a $400 ticket for playing pokemon GO in the car today. Most expensive in-app purchases EVER."