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Joke of the Day

"What's black and white and red all over and can't get through a revolving door? A nun with a spear through her head."

"If optimus prime was a pokemon, what would his most used attacks be? Transform and rollout. (When you tell this to people wait and see if they guess it)"

"My nickname is Gilette because I'm the best a man can get. Also, I will cut you"

"When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's cute. I just find it strange how many people have knives on a date."

"So Nicolas Cage and John Travolta walk into a bar and the bartender says ""hey, why the wrong face?"""

"Did you hear about the mathematician who hated negative numbers? He would always stop at nothing to avoid them."

"What's better than four roses on a piano? Tulips on an organ."

"I never got why nice guys don't get all the girls... I mean they do finish last, I thought girls liked that."

"The Titanic is a great lesson of why just the tip can get you in a lot of trouble."

"My kid asked for help with her report but if I did it for her she won't learn! So I showed how to google, change name, & print on her own."