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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the mathematician who hated negative numbers? He would always stop at nothing to avoid them."

"What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can't helium, and you can't curium, you might as well barium."

"Who did E.coli call after it lost a fight in school? Broccoli"

"Shopping for bridesmaid dresses with 5 other women, today. If you never hear from me again, I committed suicide by nail file."

"What music do cats prefer? Deadmau5"

"If you ever feel like you are worthless, just remember... You were once the fastest sperm."

"Two Lumberjacks were killed during a recent hurricane. The next day's headline read: ""Nature Shows Idiomatic Side; Kills Two Beards with One Storm""."

"What do you do when you're attacked by a group of clowns? Go for the juggler"

"Why doesn't a dog ever have a nose 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot."

"I hate being that creepy guy outside your window, but damn girl it's 7:30 already. You're gonna be late for work."