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Joke of the Day

"My nickname is Gilette because I'm the best a man can get. Also, I will cut you"

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"I can't believe I fell for your mom She's the oldest trick in the book."
"Someone told me it was as easy as pie It never ended"
"Hey parents with teenagers, the bottle of vodka in your liquor cabinet is water."
"Oscar Pistorius should be banned from the Olympics ...because he smoked Reeva"
"What gets easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women."
"Was gonna buy a new car but got my groceries for the week at Whole Foods instead"
"Beyonce was Destiny's Child. The other two were adopted."
"'Please, I need this', I whisper as I try to steal a baby goat from the petting zoo."
"Why do women make such horrible capenters? Because for years men have telling them that |----------------| is 8 inches long."