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Joke of the Day
"Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off."
Next Joke
"Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?! Years?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""
"Girl: I dumped my last boyfriend cause he always gave short answers. I never knew what he was thinking. That's so annoying, right? Me: Word"
"This beautiful woman is winking at me. Now she's using the other eye. Never mind, she's just falling asleep."
"Why shouldn't you kiss anybody on New Years Day? Because it's the first date."
"""Have a seat"" *Turns on video of son eating pizza with a fork and knife.* ""Dad I..."" **Dad puts up hand* ""Please don't call me that."""
"Forget hydrogen, you're my number one element."
"If you drop a peanut in a shag rug forget it, let it go."
"Only in Canada during a winter storm will you see kids playing road hockey."
"I walked in a Library... I walked in a library and asked the librarian for a book about small penises. The librarian said, ""I'm not sure if it's in yet"". I replied ""Yeah, that's the one"""