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Joke of the Day
"Forget hydrogen, you're my number one element."
Next Joke
"HER: [walks in wearing lingerie] See anything you like? ME: I don't think that will fit me."
"Why do priests have lots of kids? They always use the holy condoms."
"Two grains of sand were walking together in the desert. Suddenly, one turned to the other and said, ""Dude, I think we're being followed."""
"How many unemployed actors does it take to change a light bulb? 100. One to change it and 99 to stand around and say, ""Hey, I could've done that!"""
"You know what they say about non sequiturs... I LOVE pineapple upside down cake! (I just made this up today, and I'm so proud. I told my coworkers, but they told me to stop doing drugs.)"
"I rarely watch Fox news because every time I do I feel like I'm sitting in on a very unpleasant condo board meeting"
"Why should you always refuse to lend an Ape money? It's dangerous to let him put the bite on you!"
"How do you make a dog stop humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick."
"The two hardest things in programming? Naming things, caching things and off-by-one errors!"