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Joke of the Day

"Betsy Ross: ""Let's put some happy little stars in a circle on the flag"" Many years later, an heir of hers, Bob, would say something similar"

"When you catch your dog eating a dictionary what should you do? Take the words right out of his mouth."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter it wont come anyways"

"You really have to hand it to the members of the African American community."

"I was driving through a woodland area the other day and accidentally hit a stag It really spoiled the wedding"

"Life is not like a box of chocolates. It's more like not being allowed to leave the table until you finish your brussels sprouts."

"I bought a fleshlight today My masturbation has gotten out of hand"

"Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? Every time she gets to 69, she has a frog in her throat."

"The other day someone asked me my 5 year plan I told them I don't have 2020 vision"

"here's a cool tip for beating the heat this summer: don't go outside ever there's guys who will bring you pizza dumbass"