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Joke of the Day

"here's a cool tip for beating the heat this summer: don't go outside ever there's guys who will bring you pizza dumbass"

"I'm so drunk right now I just walked into Canadian customs and shouted ""Why y'all checkin' me?! Ur the ones with a pot leaf on your flag!!"""

"What idiot called it a rhyme book & not rapping paper"

"LPT: If you're in public and you need to fart Don't hold it in, because it'll go to your brain and that's where shitty ideas come from."

"Don't worry, you are safe Zombies eat brains"

"""How is this grilling you?"" - mom's 44th question"

"Why do Jewish men get circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's at least 20% off."

"Katrina Hit me hard, Wrecked my house, threw all of my possessions around and flooded my basement, But I still think those jeans made her look fat."

"Hair on the muff They are old enough"

"When I punish my 16 I don't take away her phone I take away her charger and then I watch the fear in her eyes as her battery dies. It's fun"