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Joke of the Day

"here's a cool tip for beating the heat this summer: don't go outside ever there's guys who will bring you pizza dumbass"

"I just taught the dance floor a fucking lesson."

"what do you call chicken shawarma wrapped in a tortilla? A mosqueito."

"Happy Mothers Day We love all you mothers."

"Definition of a really good friend. What's the difference between a good friend and a really good friend? A good friend will help you move house A really good friend will help you move a body!"

"Why did the ocean take a bath? It had a sandy bottom."

"A clean house is the sign of a broken computer."

"So, my masturbation classes are not going to well I'm afraid... ...yesterday, nobody came."

"How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? It's like a really obscure number you have probably never heard of."

"Eminem needs to release an aftershave and shower gel gift set for Christmas Eminessence and Marshal Lathers."