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Joke of the Day
"I'd like to make a toast... Someone get me some bread and butter"
Next Joke
"I got busted visiting Texas. For trying to smuggle in books. Luckily, I got off on a technicality. No one could prove they were books."
"I told my wife that Leonard Nimoy, Mr. Spock died. She said, ""May the force be with him."""
"So a 70ish year old grandpa randomly walked up to me in the gym and laid this one on me: What's the similarity between a flat chested woman and a stone? You skip them both."
"You know you're an optimist... ...when your blood type is B+"
"Taken is the adult version of Finding Nemo."
"DETECTIVE: what do you think killed these two birds? ME: [picking up the only stone near their bodies] idk maybe the bird flu."
"How do you kill a circus? Go for the juggler..."
"Did you know that camels can last longer without water than sex? They can go three weeks without water, but can't go a day without a hump."
"(On phone) Him: I just ran a marathon in under four? Me: (eating) months or years?"