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Joke of the Day
"Taken is the adult version of Finding Nemo."
Next Joke
"nurse: ""if youre going to give grapes to a baby make sure you cut them in half"" me: [visibly confused] wife: ""the grapes keith not the baby"""
"As I looked at my naked body in the mirror, I thought to myself: ""I'm going to get thrown out of this home depot in a minute."""
"Your mama is so fat... Her alphabet is the KFCs"
"My friends are like the square root of -1 They're imaginary."
"What does a pirate wear if he works at Apple? iPatch"
"What is the difference between walking a dog in America and China? The spelling."
"What is the only way to stop Donald Trump? A Cruz missile."
"[interview for CIA] Your resume says you're a master in hand-to-hand wombat. Is that a typo or- *I've already thrown a wombat at his face*"
"I speak Swedish with an Ikea accent."