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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that camels can last longer without water than sex? They can go three weeks without water, but can't go a day without a hump."

"A girl told me she'd only date me if I had a six-pack How can I get beer if I'm under 21?"

"Just once I want to wake up to something exciting. *Wakes up next to spider crawling on pillow."

"Attention people who aren't employees: you should wash your fucking hands too."

"I'll never forgive the Nazis for how they treated my Granddad in that concentration camp during the war... Five years he was there on that machine gun tower, and never got a single promotion..."

"(Q)....... What do fat women & mopeds have in common? (A)........ They're both fun to ride until your friends find out."

"In the final analysis, why did Yu do better than Hu? Hu died and left Yu king. Wait a minute - how can you so sure about what's after death? Who died and left you king? Isn't that what I just said?"

"A sheep, a drum, and a snake all fall off a cliff... Ba-dumm-tss"

"What's the best way to turn a pussy into a dick? Give it a badge."

"What does a Pokemon baby say to his dad in Star Wars? Waba Fett"