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Joke of the Day

"You know you're an optimist... ...when your blood type is B+"

"Did you hear about the new viking movie staring the guy who played Han Solo? It's called Harrison's Fjord"

"A husband says to his wife... ""What would you do if I won the lottery?"". She replied ""I'd take half, then leave you."" ""Excellent!"", he retorted, ""I won 12, here's 6, now fuck off""."

"Once I did a presentation on George Washington & was asked when he died, but I never looked it up, so I said ""He's alive in all of us today"""

"If you leave without a reason, don't bother coming back with an excuse."

"I trick people that I know Spanish by quoting fragments of Spanish songs I know, la bamba."

"My sister's got hay fever, and now she has diabetes. I tried to cheer her up. You know, the usual. Flowers, chocolates"

"What is the hardest part of twerking? Being black"

"""Remember those funny tweets about Keith? And, the Chad jokes? Haha! They were great! We should do those again. Right, guys? Guys?"" - Karen"

"Name as many weed names as you can. Purple kush, Sharks breath,God,Chewbacas anus gas. KEEP IT GOIN'"